Negative thoughts influence a person destructively. They inflict everything: one’s self-confidence, decision-making quality, relations with other people, motivation. This leads to apathy, stress or even depression.
There are those who decide to sit still and to do nothing. They think they need to pass through sufferings that came to them with pride. Such behavior has its reasons, though it does not have any justification. If you mentioned some thoughts to kill your motivation on continuing to grow up and develop, then you should get rid of them.
1. There are So Many Bad and Not Right Things in My Life
You may think everything to be very bad: hated job, social roles, unnecessary relations. It all is awful, but what do you do to stop it? You think about your bad status for months and do nothing. There are thoughts appearing in your head: “Another job is not better than this one. And I do not have required skills at all”. And the circle closes up.
But this is what everyone feels. Sometimes, every person doesn’t like something. In order to make that different, one has to move.
Do something. What do you lose? Create a CV, sign up for one or two skill courses. Just do a single step towards a positive future.
2. I Don’t Want to Fail: They’ll Look at Me
There can’t be found a person who never suffered a defeat. Failures are just events in one’s life and they are going to happen anyway. You can fail finding the desired job. You can open your business and meet a failure. Nobody can guarantee you something about your relationship as well.
These events can’t make you a loser unless you allow them doing that. You are not a loser if you get up after your failure, if you make conclusions and go on moving.
Do not worry about a failure, or you risk to stay on one place during the whole life. It is the process, to overcome your fear of a defeat. You take some risk when deciding to start a new business. Maybe, you won’t create a startup tomorrow, but you have the opportunity to buy some books or to sign up for an online training today. This step will become an impulse for the next one.
3. Setting Goals is Senseless: I Can’t Ever Achieve them
Motivation can’t appear if you have no goal. Think about it. You have a goal when you feel hungry. Any goal makes you fix or get something. No goal – no actions. Set them up and you’ll get motivation for yourself.
Sometimes, thinking about how your goal makes your life or other people’s lives better can become a great motivator itself. For instance, you want to find a new job with a higher salary, but you feel you don’t have enough motivation. Think about your relatives and how you can bring them happiness when everything comes true. You’ll be able to move to a new city, to make your children happier.
If you set a goal coming from your egoistic reasons, there is nothing bad in it as well. If it allows you on staying motivated, the reason does not matter.
4. I Will Never Become Like My Friend/Colleague/Boss
This is a classical story about self-esteem. People feel the need to compare themselves with others and always look onto partials. This means they take one factor from a person’s life and compare themselves with it, proving why they can’t reach the same. They don’t try to analyze anything. What is bad is that, they start being envious, they don’t ask themselves the right question: what can I improve in myself in order to achieve the same success?”.
You can compare yourself with others, but you need to do that carefully and correctly. Comparison has to motivate you and to kick you forward, not to make you concentrate on envy and hatred.
5. I’ve Made Too Many Mistakes in the Past
Everyone did. And everyone regrets something they have done in the past. And they will make mistakes in future. But there is no sense in your regrets if they don’t lead towards any actions.
It is possible to correct a mistake. If it is impossible, the best thing you can do is to forget about it. Obtrusive thoughts lead towards various psychic illnesses. Wayne Dyer, the professor of psychological science, once said that the only thing that is important, is if today’s you are better than you were the day before. If the answer is “yes”, then tomorrow you are to become better than you are today.
Create a list of things you plan to do tomorrow. It shouldn’t be a classical “to-do list”, but a list of things that will become a beginning of your new life. Sign up for foreign language courses, ask someone you insulted recently for their excuse, or send a CV to another job.
6. I Can’t Be Perfect, So There’s No Sense to Try
Do you really know anyone who is absolutely perfect? There can’t be anyone ideal in this world, as everyone and everything can get improvements. People constantly make mistakes, and this means they are far from being perfect.
The point is to become better, and not to be perfect. Become a bit better in some cases every day, and they won’t recognize you a couple months later. Think about what you can do right now. Write down these actions. Choose ones you’ll do tomorrow.
7. Too Many People Depend on Me: No Time for Other Things
This is a phrase one can repeat during the whole life. There are three types of people in this world: those who give, those who receive, and those who find the proper balance. If you are a giver, then you live according to conditions of other people, not according to your own rules.
Of course, everyone has responsibilities before others. But we all have responsibilities behind ourselves. You’ll stay on the same place if you follow wishes of other people. You can’t be motivated because you can’t say “no”. Freedom is when you decide what to do in the next second on your own.