We need to convince every day: our friends, our family, professors etc. There may be a need to convince in a written or oral form, as an academic assignment or via e-mail. Learn the following hints on how to make people think the way you need.
Rule #1: The Homer’s Rule
The order of arguments influences their convincing effect. The best order is the following: strong arguments – moderate – the strongest one. You should avoid any weak arguments, like those you are telling but not believing completely yourself. Just forget about them, as they will show your weak sides.
Your opponent pays a lot of attention to the weaknesses of your arguments, so do not try to rely on the quantity, but on the quality. The same argument may be strong and weak for different people, so evaluate arguments from the point of view of your opponent.
Rule #2: The Socrates’ Rule
To get “yes” on your question, put it on the third place after two short and simple questions which will obviously get “yes”. This rule has been working for 2400 years already. It works because it is right. Recently, this rule got a deep and physiological argumentation on its effectiveness. It was discovered that when a person hears “no” their body transmits adrenalin into the blood, so he or she easily gets ready for a defend.
The word “yes” leads to production of endorphins (hormones of happiness). After your opponent gets two doses of endorphins he is more prone to saying “yes” to the third question as well. One portion may not be enough to fight with the bad mood. Moreover, one needs time to get into the appropriate condition. The preparing questions should be short and answering to them should not require any efforts in order not to distract your listener.
Rule #3: The Rule of the Status
The strength of arguments depends on the status of the person, who tells them.
Obviously, the person with a higher social status sounds more convincing than the one which does not have an image of an notable person. The high appreciation of others, a high social position, success in a certain sphere makes a person’s arguments more meaningful and effective. People, who ask for recommendations from some VIP people get ruled by this principle.
This rule is widely applied in advertising, since the add creators ask doctors, famous sportsmen to act in their videos. However, the status should also be evaluated depending on the situation and not only an importance of a person in a society.
Rule #4: Do Not Lower the Status
Expressing a disrespect towards your opponent lowers their status and causes a negative reaction. Experts in advertising claim “Do not think of a consumer as of a person, who is less smart than you”. So, another tip on convincing someone is to show your respect and attention towards that person.
The rules of convincing are usually simple and obvious, but people tend not to pay attention to them and avoid using when they are really needed. Do not disregard the wisdom got from experience since ancient times, and become an effective debater or an argumentative writer. Usually, this experience comes from inside, from our subconscious way of thinking and intuition, however a good portion of advices will not be redundant in any case.
If you watch famous people on television and wonder how naturally they make others do what they want, do not fool yourself. It is mostly a result of hard work on one’s own behavior and only a drop of talent. So, do not be desperate if the only person you can persuade on something is your granny – note these tips and make them in use and you will be surprised how easy you achieve good results!
Other Techniques of Effectively Making People Do What You Want
If you were really thinking that only 4 methods of convincing rule the world of human communication, we may surprise you because it is much more! The human psychology is an amazing complex of our behavior and an explanation why we think or do something or behave similar in certain situations.
Sorry to disappoint you but with an exception of some minor differences we are all being ruled by the same tips and tricks that make us subconsciously feel and act in a certain way. That is why, knowing these ways of persuading will not only help you to influence people you want to impact but also prevent yourself from such a fate.
Mirror, Mirror on The Wall…
Have you ever noticed that when you are talking with a person they may reflect your moves and gestures like in a mirror? After that they may ask you to do something for them and you feel safe agreeing for it because you feel like the person is closer to you even if it is not like that.
The secret is that when a person makes the same gestures like leaning the way you do that or touches his or her hair a while after you did it, you may not notice it straight ahead but deep inside it will be a signal that this person is trustworthy. Such technique is very helpful in business dialogues to create a comfy and friendly atmosphere but do not overdo it, otherwise they will think you are being too unserious and childish (at the best).
You Are Unique!
Everyone wants to feel special but we do not hear it every day. If you want to convince someone is to make them feel desirable of your attention. Several nice compliments will do their job but be reasonable and do not overflow with flattering. Otherwise, the odds of them thinking you are telling the truth are slim.
“You are the only one who can help me in this situation!” – it is a nice way to make someone feel needed. However, the result is unpredictable, a person may get too arrogant if you raise them up too high.
The best way to help someone make their decision in your favor is to impress with confidence and calm look. Especially when you are in conflict the best way to convince a person is first of all to let them speak. It is a steel method because if the person has not spoken everything out yet, they will barely listen to you, only thinking about their arguments to ruin yours.
Moreover, when you are staying calm and attentive, your thoughts and opinion will be at the right place and you will not have to mention in hectic what you were saying previously.
No hacks, no tricks, no lures. Just explain a person you want to convince what you want and sincerely ask for help. Your sincerity will also have an influence and persuade a person to make it possible.