Success is nothing but achieved goals and one’s internal harmony. Yet if to deal with goals is quite simple, but finding that harmony is a bit complicated thing.
Shame Culture
Living in a modern world, one can’t provide any activity without looking onto others. No matter what goals you reach, society will constantly convince you that this is not enough. Your self-esteem is based on a public opinion: praise and envy of others are perceived as the synonym to victory, and ignored achievements are being equalized with defeats. Such a need in social acknowledgement influences your self-esteem and self-perception negatively.
These is a such-called shame culture in a modern society. Another one, the guilt culture says to act according to your conscience and makes you responsible for your deeds before your close people and law (and God, for someone). Shame culture is based on the fact, that living in a society is impossible without social pressure.
People carefully choose words to say in order to keep up with social norms. Many people feel themselves made to comment any popular topic just because ignorance is one more way to get out of the community. Human’s willing to communicate and to be praised is being perfectly demonstrated in social media: users place photos of their achievements, actively comment and “like” posts of others. People who are not in this “code” are being condemned or ignored.
Willing to achieve many goals in many fields at once, you can lose yourself. Personal victories lose their value in the world where any achievement is compared to those of others.
For some people, the way towards the goal looks like a tunnel with the light at its end (that is the wanted victory)
Such people don’t look at their route towards the goal as at the adventure, they don’t get joy of the process, they forget about their loved ones, friendship and love mean less for them. Such people can doubtfully be called happy.
How Not to Lose Oneself on The Way to The Goal
You shouldn’t suppress your passion, ambitions, will to achieve your wanted goal: there is nothing bad in them. But if your self-esteem lowers because of failed expectations, you should think about determining your priorities.
Do not Compare Yourself with Others
A friend opened own business? Who knows, maybe he got into debts to get the starting capital. Another friend got a prestigious job? He possibly spent his student years sitting behind the desk surrounded by books, and had no impressions of student parties. Everyone is on their own journey, and any success means some losses. Do not be envy on successful fellows, just keep moving through your way towards the goal.
Do not Deny Joys of Life
Don’t refuse to communicate with your relatives and friends, build romantic relationships and do not forget to go out somewhere periodically. Achieved goal will not bring you happiness if you’ll have to rise a glass for it alone.
Try Being Successful in Something You Do Well
There are no people who could be successful in any field. For instance, computing technology is the sphere which opens lots of perspectives and gives a financial wellness guarantee for its specialists. But if you feel difficult to reinstall an operating system on your computer, you better try finding yourself somewhere else.
Do Not Choose Impossible Tasks
Do not try to rise up on all tops at once. Move towards your goal gradually, raising the bar step by step. Small victories motivate, losses not only demotivate, but harm your self-esteem.
