This is the second part of the article describing the psychology of patience for students. Here we are going to continue talking about the ways to gain patience. Stay updated with Homeworkneeded.com!
How to Gain Patience: Article Continues
Forget About Results, Enjoy the Process
What to do if you are developing a skill, and there are no visible results? Should you quit everything, get sad and disappointed about yourself? There is another way: learn how to enjoy the process and work a bit more persistently. It is more important and useful.
Here is another example: let’s suppose that you want to save some money. You’ve read a couple of books about becoming rich and understood that it is required to save 20% of your income. Yet a bunch of negative emotions and a feeling of sacrifice appear as soon as you start. What to do?
Get satisfied with the fact that you save money. All in all, it is a cool challenge. Try to save 50% of your income. What is going to change? How would you live? This can change your way of thinking completely and make you understand that humans are able to get used to anything.
Look at the Situation as a Different Person
It is a good tip for those who feel impatient when communicating with others. When you feel your blood is about to be boiled, try looking at the situation from a different person’s viewpoint.
Why do they behave in that way? What problems do they have in life? What worries them? How do their minds work?
Maybe, you won’t get complete answers. But you can start sympathizing them. And this means you can save your own nerves too.
This is a useful exercise to do while you are standing in a traffic jam. Think about drivers who are nearby. What do they think about? What worries them?
What about the situation when your friend asks you to lend them some money? Before you start raging, here are some things for you to think about. Maybe, your friend can’t manage finances like you do. Maybe, he or she couldn’t read the required books. Maybe, he or she can’t stay away from impulsive purchases. You can refuse to give them money, but you can save your relationships at least.
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Think About the Main Goal
Yes, you don’t have the opportunity to go for your goal at the moment because there is a whole truck of problems standing on your road, and it does not even think about driving somewhere. But if you remind yourself of your main goal at that time, you are about to calm down and start thinking what to do next.
People are often nervous when they go deep into details. It is possible to understand that the solution exists if you look at the situation in general.
How to Get Rid of Impatience
Even if you have learned how to be conscious and notice your emotions and thoughts, it is still difficult for you to deal with impatience sometimes. Nowadays, a human can get everything he or she needs with a single mouse click. And we do not talk only about goods here. Wikipedia is here to help when you want to find out some facts. But the availability of information seriously diminishes its value.
With the help of a remote control, you can turn on a TV-set instantly. With a smartphone, it is possible to get in touch with any person you know within a minute. When you need a custom paper urgently, you can simply contact us. People are not used to wait, so they suffer every wasted second.
What is curious is that people don't like impatient individuals, though everyone of us is far from being perfect. Do you remember the last time when you had to interact with an impatient person? It is difficult to think about him or her as about a good, calm, kind and worthy person, isn’t it? This is what other may think about you at the moments of your impatience.
What is impatience? It is a passionate will to make the future get closer. And if there is a need to wait, people often behave like children: make noise, stomp their feet, want others to pay attention to them. In this case, patience is a feature of an adult and balanced person.
Here is a step-by-step strategy for getting rid of impatience.
Step One: Recognize Your Impatience
At first, you need to accept that you are impatient, to determine certain situations, and to recognize emotions.
Step Two: Stop the Thinking Process
Stop the process of thinking and calm your body and mind once you have indicated your impatience. Take a deep breath and say: “Relax, it’s all right”. This moment brings additional benefit: it prevents nervousness from becoming a habit.
Step Three: Find Triggers
When you are more calm and conscious, remind yourself what happened once again. It is important to find the exact reason for your irritation, tension, worrying, and impatience.
Finding your triggers is the main idea of this step. Here are some questions that can help you determine them:
- Why are you feeling impatient at the moment?
- What exactly causes this feeling to appear?
- Were there any people, events, or circumstances that made you feel impatience?
- What exactly happened?
- Why do you think so?
Step Four: Analyze the Situation
You already know what happened and caused negative emotions. Now it is time to analyze the situation. This will help you get mentally distant from the unpleasant moment and switch your brain on.
Let’s take a look at the situation you are in first.
- Does your impatience help or hurt you?
- Do you make a federal case out of nothing?
- Is there a point to feel like that at the moment?
- Have you understood the situation correctly?
- How can you explain it? Are you unbiased?
- How did the explanation influence your attitude towards the situation or person?
After getting answers, you can switch to another viewpoint, a more positive one.
- How else can you look at this situation?
- How else can you understand ongoing events and circumstances?
- How else can you explain this person’s intentions?
- What value could patience have in this situation?
The last bunch of questions can help you regain control totally.
- Are you in control of this situation?
- What can you control, change, or influence?
- What is beyond your control and should be let off?
People feel impatient when they desperately want to control the situation, their time, or other people’s behavior.
You will never be able to feel yourself better if you worry about things beyond your control all the time. Just accept the reality and move on.
Step Five: Know What to Do Later
You have three ways:
- You decide to act;
- You decide to wait till the problem is solved;
- You decide to overwatch the situation patiently but proactively in order to learn from your own experience.
You don’t always need to act. There are people who can’t sit still. They burn their own nerves and those of other people, but still get nothing. So, you need to decide what to do next.
You shouldn’t think that patience is needed to develop patience. It is in everyone already. The point is to work on your mind and to watch your reactions.
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