Talking about successful people, the image of a self-confident person always comes to mind first. They know what they want. It seems that there are no obstacles for them to achieve this. They are so confident in their actions and words, that any objections are just useless. But what is the secret of such confidence? Are some people just born to be successful?
The Secret of the Assurance
Every person can become self-confident. Yes, it is true. You are not born to be self-assured and successful, confidence is a result of the hard work on your fears and insecurities. Self-confidence is an ability to believe in your strong sides. Here are some steps to follow if you want to become a more self-assured person:
Communicate with Optimistic People
A self-confident person loves and respects themselves, such people spread love and assurance on the others around, and this attracts more and more other people to their personality. Always try to communicate with positive, optimistic, and strong people! Remember, those, who spread insecurity and negativity around will drag you down. You have to minimize your contact with those type of people, as pessimism will always suppress your desires and kill your ideas.
Always remember that all our thoughts materialize. Yes, when we think poor things of ourselves, they usually come true. So, stop doing that! Stop always making yourself guilty! Stop thinking negatively about your actions, never use phrases like "It could only happen to me", "I always attract troubles", "I am always late", etc. Never criticize yourself and other people, as it will ruin your personality.
Forget the Past
Never spend your energy and your precious time thinking about your past activities. It is already done, it cannot be changed! Do not torture yourself! Such thinking will only make your way to success more complicated, you have to quit this bad habit. All people have a right to make mistakes, our world is not perfect, nobody is ideal. You have to learn to forgive and forget in order to move on to your happiness.
Ready for a Challenge?
You should not only see your strong sides but your weak ones too. Why? To know the things, you have to work on. Create a list of points you are sure you cannot do well. Now, take each item on the list and think of at least one fact you can do every day to improve it. Never take your weak sides as granted, think of them as a new obstacle you have to fight in order to become a self-confident person.
Do Not Wait for A Miracle
This is the last and most important piece of advice. Do not just wait for your fears and doubts to go away. You can spend your whole life waiting for the right time to do what you really want instead of doing it now. Doubts and fears will never disappear, you have to learn how to face them. Your goal is to get rid of all the insecurities you have and ignore your sense of fear.
The less you pay attention to it, the more confident you become. So, do not wait for a miracle, act now! When you stop being afraid to live, you will surely become a self-confident and successful person.
Confidence or Arrogance?
Nevertheless, we actively warn you to realize these thin frames that differentiate self-confidence from just posh and arrogance. Sometimes people may forget it and try to act unpleasantly to others even without realizing it.
Try to observe others. Are the guys at your school being self-confident when mocking schoolers and taking their money? They are, undoubtfully, bold, but it has nothing to do with confidence.
Another example is, you realizing that you have made a mistake and being at the moment to speak it out. Will you tell everyone that you have been mistaken even if no one has noticed that? Or maybe you will keep silent because admitting your failure is a deathly hollow for your self-esteem? In this situation, you also show first of all to yourself how strong your inner world is.
Moreover, keep track of how you or your relatives’ thoughts and words during the day. How often do they say that nothing works or they do not know how to do some thing or feel upset because of a miscellaneous thing? How often do they tell everyone they are not worth being or having something? Did they ever tell you that they cannot complete a task because they feel not good enough for that?
On the other hand, do they tell you that they will do everything at once but end up on a couch in front of a TV-set? Do you also try to persuade everyone that you can buy a car in a month because as now you have a good part-time job, everything will go as a piece of cake? It is an arrogance and a boosted self-confidence.
So, to avoid such overflow of your inner “strength” be realistic. It is another merit of every confident person. They do not keep silent when they want to buy anything, neither they chat around about it to hide their eyes later. Find a golden mean and you will understand how hard but profitable it is to be a good friend, a trustworthy relative and a positive person.
Another advantage to mention, being confident does not mean depending on anyone. It means trusting other people and relying on them. A discrepancy between having no one to rely on and a helpful hand is huge and it in no way influences the bright image of a self-confident person.
Being confident in yourself means to help other people when they are facing some difficulties, it means having doubts and qualms just like everyone else but also enough courage and strength to encounter your fears and failures and get along with them. Being confident does not mean that you are being fearless like a superman or a superwoman.
However, it does mean that you have them and you overcome them when time goes, you do not live in the past but always forgive everyone who somehow insulted you and go on. It also means a lot of inner strength to say “no” when it is needed to say so. Do not be afraid to express yourself because you are unique. Do not let others make you down because of their words or actions.
Being confident in yourself means believing yourself: having faith in your life, your work and your partner, having no lies to cover the truth. It is perceiving all your merits and perks but continuingly working on your personal improvement. So, as a modern Disney Cinderella says “Have courage and be kind”.